I still remember that night as if it was yesterday. The rain thundering down, the fields flooding as lightning flashed across the sky and thunder roared in the night. I hobbled off the field after a long and grueling day of soccer practice. I remember looking up at the sky, as the rain pelted my face, lifting up a prayer to God as I climbed into my car begging him to give me an easy night of sleep. I remember that night more than I remember any other night in my entire life, simply because it changed my life, it changed everything. That was the night that Jake went home.

Full of life, full of energy and full of love, Jake was that kid that you couldn’t help but be friends with. He was that kid that would scream jumping with excitement up and down over the simplest of things. But more than anything, Jake was the kid that would literally jump for Jesus, with pure joy unlike any other. For people that knew Jake, this is what defined him. He was the type of person who would jump for joy for the Lord. And at the age of 17, he got to jump into the arms of Jesus.

I remember sitting in my bed doing homework, trying to focus on anything that would take my attention away from aching muscles. All of a sudden, my phone began to blow up with messages and calls. I still remember the voice on the other end of the line trying to communicate the words while stammering through the tears. “There’s been an accident and… um…. He didn’t make it, Jake didn’t make it.” Even to this day, I can still hear those words echo in my head, I can still hear them ringing as clear as day.

If you have ever lost someone close, someone you loved as family, you know how those words linger, how they will never leave you. You know that the pain never really goes away, it just gets easier to deal with. It has been over 6 years now and I still weep, I still find myself waking up in the middle of the night crying. Even as I write this I can’t help but cry. But perhaps the thing we remember the most is the reaction of those around us.

For many Christians, the immediate response to grief is prayer. But when we actually pray for people who are grieving, it is only when they pop up in our newsfeeds on social media or whenever we hear about a tragedy. We make hashtags like #prayforparis, #prayfortexas or the most recent one #prayforparkland. But to be honest, we rarely do pray, we rarely ever intentionally pray for those who are grieving. While it is a really nice and a wonderful thought to pray for someone who is grieving, I honestly don’t believe that that is what we should be doing at all.

So, what are we to do in times of grief? I think that the Bible is pretty clear with the example of Jesus: Jesus wept. In John 11 Jesus went to the family of Lazarus and wept. He wept because of the loss of his dear friend but also because of the pain in which Martha and Mary, Lazarus’ sisters, were in. Paul echoes this same principle in 2 Corinthians 12 as he talks about unity in the body of the Christ as the church: “If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.” We are called to come alongside those who are suffering and in pain, who are grieving, and weep with them, suffer with them. For if one part of the body hurts, the whole-body hurts.

I remember the day I went back to school after Jake’s death more than anything else. I didn’t even make it past 5^th period. I broke down in class weeping. I wasn’t ready to be back to normal. I remember students and teachers simply looking at me, some offered up prayers while others simply carried on as if nothing was happening with me. I remember my English teacher completely stopping class and taking me out of the room to simply sit in the hall way. He didn’t say anything, he didn’t offer any prayers or say “I’m sorry.” All he did was sit next to me, our backs against the cold hard lockers. As I started weeping, my teacher broke every social norm and began to weep with me. This guy didn’t even know Jake, he had no idea what Jake had done in my life or his impact on my community. All my teacher knew was that I was in pain, I was weeping and so he wept with me. And for that I am eternally grateful.

So Church, the next time tragedy strikes let us not offer up empty words as prayers, let us not offer up #hashtags to show our love and support. Let us weep with those who weep, let us grieve with those who grieve. Let us be the body of Christ as we were meant to be. Let us be like Christ and weep.